What is a successful divorce? For some that may mean getting most of the assets; for others it may just be completing the process as quick as possible. My desire for the individuals and couples I work with would be that both parties come out educated, with an understanding of what their divorce settlement means for their future, while still maintaining the family unit throughout the process. For that to be a reality there are a few secrets that you must know to achieve that successful divorce.
Secret #1 – Be Open to Mediate
No matter where you live divorce is expensive and the longer the process and more fighting you do, the costlier it becomes. Have you ever spoken with anyone who bragged about how awesome their divorce was? I haven’t, and suspect nobody else has either. What if you were willing to come to the table and civilly hash out the most appropriate divorce settlement for each other and your family? Just picture the possibility of not only a smoother divorce, but also a quicker and cheaper divorce too.
Secret #2 – Work with the right Professionals
If you are considering a large financial purchase or life change like retirement, it is not uncommon to hear, “hey, you should talk to my financial advisor.” So why is it that when someone mentions divorce, which requires huge financial decisions, does everyone ask if you have called a lawyer? Don’t get me wrong, attorneys are great and necessary in a lot of cases, but why wouldn’t you first call a financial expert? A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®) can help to educate you and guide you through this large and complicated financial decision. A lawyer can direct you and provide legal counsel, but a CDFA® can help you understand what your divorce settlement looks like today, as well as projecting it out in the future. If you want the outcome mentioned above be cautious of the combative attorneys and consider a CDFA® to be a part of your team.
Secret #3 – Prepare Emotionally
Divorce is scary, emotionally draining, confusing, overwhelming, and the list goes on and on. Nobody expects you to check your emotions at the door; it’s okay to feel the emotions of divorce. What you need to be aware of is allowing those emotions to become all consuming. This could lead to an inability to make decisions or making too many emotionally driven decisions. If you are not working with a counselor or licensed therapist, you should be. Emotional healing must start with looking inside yourself first. If you are seeking a successful divorce that can ultimately lead to a healthier and happier post-divorce, then you must be willing to examine your own life.
So, what is the formula for a successful divorce? I believe it starts with a willingness to work together, something that may be very difficult to do, but necessary to save money and save each other from more pain and heartache. Then it’s contacting the right professionals who can work with you to settle without paying an arm and a leg. If you want to learn more about what this might look like, please contact Next Step Divorce Solutions.