Divorce Support, Pre DivorceApril 4, 2023

Understanding the Community ‘Pie’

It’s all in the Pie

In this video I want to talk a little bit about the ‘his’, ‘hers’, and ‘community’ and how all that works together in the realm of divorce. It is a common thing that I hear, “that was his account” and “that’s her account” and they get stuck in this fact that it’s not a community account. Texas is a Community Property state which means that everything that you own at the time of divorce is assumed that it is community, now I’m not going to talk in this video about the difference between community and separate property so for sake of argument let’s say that everything that you own today is in fact community. I want you to get out of the idea of thinking that there’s this ‘his account’ ‘her account’ mentality because it’ll confuse you and it forces people to get stuck in negotiation unnecessarily.

How to Divide the Pie

When you think about community you need to think of it like a pie; it could be any kind of pie that you want, I like apple pie so let’s assume it’s apple pie. Everything that we own is inside this apple pie and when you are negotiating your divorce it doesn’t matter if it’s his account in his name or her name or y’all’s name is on it, it’s all in the pie including all the debts. Everything is in this pie! When you are going through and negotiating things, you’re going to actually each cut out different pieces of the pie. You may have smaller pieces you may have bigger pieces but at the end of the day you’re going to get to a just and right division, now I did not say a 50/50. You have to be really careful because in the state of Texas it is common that there is not an actual 50/50 division, again that a discussion for another video on why that is, but it it’s not always 50/50 so there may be a slight variation. Now, I want to preface that with I have not seen, others might have, but I don’t believe that I’ve seen anything above a 60/40 division, so we are going be close to a 50/50. It’s going to be a ‘just and right’ division but you’re going to each have different pieces of that pie, different sizes, you may have a sliver of this account and a sliver of that account at the end of the day you’re each going to have your portions and you’re going to then have to retitle or transfer things so that everything goes into the proper name at the end of the day.

When you’re thinking about your property division think of everything in the pie, we’re going to put everything in the pie, don’t get stuck on ‘his account’ or ‘her account’ or ‘y’all’s’ account, everything is community. If you have additional questions or want to understand how this impacts your specific situation, give us a call at Next Step Divorce Solutions and we will be happy to explain it more to you. Have a good one!

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Divorce SupportMarch 10, 2023

What is a CDFA®

What is a CDFA® a CDFA® is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, they are a professional that helps parties of a divorce understand and educate them about the various options they have in negotiating their property division. As a CDFA® they can help each party either individually or as a neutral, working with both parties, to understand what post-divorce will look like from a property and income and cash flow situation. In another video we’ll actually talk about who would be appropriate to use CDFA® and how that might look.

Who Should Hire a CDFA®

In my last video I talked a little bit, very briefly, about what is a CDFA® or a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®. In this video I want to deep dive a little bit into who can a CDFA® serve and who is best to hire a CDFA® as part of their divorce team.

The first question you have to ask yourself is ‘do you have property’, a CDFA® specifically is a part of the divorce when it comes to property being divided. So, if you do not have any property; don’t own a home, you don’t own a car, you have no bank accounts, maybe you’re newly married and it just didn’t work out and you don’t own anything together and you decide to separate, in those situations a CDFA® is really not beneficial to you. There’s not much we can do for you as far as being hired in the process. Now if you have some of those things and you’re saying ‘OK what level of those things do I need to have before CDFA® is beneficial to me’ in my opinion, in the years that I’ve had in both divorce and financial planning, in general anybody with some assets, whether it’s just a house, or just some cash, or just brokerage accounts, or a combination of all those things, it is always a good idea to at least have a consultation with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. The reason that I say that is because you’re going through a transition and it’s always helpful to have some level of information and education about the decisions that you’re making in the process. A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® should be able to give you kind of a road map of whether or not it is valuable to hire them during the process or not. One of the things you have to be very careful about and just understand is that when you’re doing a negotiation, when you’re doing your divorce, when you sign an agreement whether it’s the final decree or it’s just that mediated settlement agreement, once you sign an agreement on property it is done you cannot go back and fix it. There are certain things in a divorce that are modifiable, child things typically are modifiable, but property division is not. So, you really have one chance to make sure that it is right. That is where CDFA® can come in to make sure that you’re making educated informed decisions about the property division.

So, who can a CDFA® help? They really can help anybody with property. I would encourage you to reach out to your local CDFA® and talk with them to find out if it’s necessary to have them brought into the overall process. Thanks, and if you have more questions, you can always reach out to us at Next Step Divorce Solutions.

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Divorce SupportMay 24, 2021

Was it Really a Fairy Tale?

As a little girl I had created my own little fairy tale life of marrying my high school sweetheart, having kids, and settling down young…and living happily ever after. Welp…that’s not how it went down at all, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t try to take control and make sure my story came true just the way I had planned.

Nearing the end of high school, I started dating someone that seemed smitten with me and seemed to care a lot. Unfortunately, what I saw as protective was actually possessiveness and jealousy. If you know those character traits in a relationship you can probably see where this is going. After four years of struggling, I was fortunate enough to get out before it was my permanent lifestyle. With that relationship ending, so too was the death of the only fairy tale I had imagined.

I. Was. BROKEN.

For years it was whispered, and yelled, in my ear that I was HIS whole world…that nobody would ever love me the way HE could. My understanding of love and affection was so backward, and I knew it, but it didn’t mean the fear of being alone and unloved wasn’t real. I felt empty and completely alone and misunderstood. I wanted to be alone in my despair but inside I was screaming for help, helpless in my dark pit.

“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.” Psalm 40: 1-2

One day the veil just lifted, and I discovered I was strong and capable. I was a little (a lot) pissed off too and wasn’t afraid to show it! Through it all I discovered how to move forward. I prayed, a lot. I can’t say there was one defining moment that changed my world from darkness to light, and trust me more bad choices were to follow, but I was OKAY. I would be okay.

I consider myself fortunate that my “fairy tale” relationship was short lived and ended in a 20’s break up saga not a legal battle and divorce. If that’s you, I can’t say I truly understand what you are feeling but I would venture that there is a part of you that is grieving what was supposed to be, and maybe a little (or a lot) pissed off that it didn’t go as planned. When the Jews were living in exile in Babylon the prophet Jeremiah wrote “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope a future.” Jeremiah 29: 11

A lesson I feel I have learned and re-learned is that my plans may seem wonderful and perfect, but not only are God’s plans better and right, they are normally WAY MORE than what we could ever imagine or dream for ourselves. If you are in the thick of the pit, hold tight to Christ; he will meet you where you are and lift you out of your pit of despair.

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