#1 Rule in Getting a Divorce
In Texas we often make our own highway exits. If you have ever driven Interstate 10 through Texas you may notice there are spots that may look like an emergency exit, or well-traveled spot off the highway, but we all know that is just where Texans believe the exit SHOULD be. You may be asking yourself how this applies AT ALL to Divorce? More than you might think…
In working with women navigating the divorce process there are a few things that I try to keep reminding them. The most important, THIS IS YOUR DIVORCE. However, when you begin to bring in other professionals, like Attorneys, Certified Divorce Financial Analysts, Business Valuators, Parenting Coordinators or Custodial Evaluators, Mediator, or a Therapist the two people that are getting the divorce can become silenced by so much direction and input. By no means am I saying you may not need some or even all of these professionals giving you direction but it is extremely important that you remember YOU are in the DRIVERS SEAT.
You are the one that has to live with the outcome of your divorce, you and possibly your children. If you keep in mind that you are in the driver’s seat and there is ever a point you need to exit the highway, whether it is a standard exit or not, don’t be afraid to “go Texan” and deviate.
I have worked with women that feel stuck with an attorney they started with because they already paid a retainer. If you find yourself in this situation don’t be afraid to interview some new attorneys. Hiring the wrong attorney can make the entire process more challenging than it needs to be.
Remembering you are in the driver’s seat of your divorce is also important in HOW you choose to get divorced. There are other ways to get a divorced that doesn’t always involve an attorney. Now, I enjoy working with attorneys and believe they are extremely beneficial to have in a case. However, you may find a single consult is all you need, and seeking the assistance of a mediator is more advantageous for you. If you are moving in one direction, you are not locked in! Take a step back and assess what process would really work best for you. Mediation is a wonderful solution especially if you want to negotiate a more creative divorce settlement.
Again, YOU ARE IN CONTROL of your DIVORCE! Repeat after me,