Every marriage goes through periods of difficulty and it may have nothing to do with outside forces causing strain, you may just be stuck in a rut. Unfortunately, we have entered a period in our culture where divorce is acceptable and common, so when things get tough or not fun anymore the only natural solution is to get a divorce…right?!?
My husband would agree that we have had some ups and downs, but in our short 7 years of marriage there has been one notable year that was our first real test. Three years into our marriage a job opened that allowed us to transfer to Houston, my home (my husband was just glad to be back in Texas). The downside to the move was that I was the only one with a job, we used every penny of our savings to move home, and my husband was contemplating a career change. My parents graciously let us stay with them until we could figure out where in the vast city of Houston was best for us to settle into. One-month passed, then another, then another and our plight had not changed. With each passing month my patience for our status grew thin and my feeling towards my husband’s lack of employment grew from support to understanding then to frustration and finally anger. Nine months into this “challenging time” we experienced what was probably our first real big fight and I said and thought things, including divorce, that I NEVER thought I would allow to cross my mind. No, I didn’t really want a divorce and I didn’t mean most of the things that I said, but how many couples do you know that hit that first real test of their marriage and choose to bow out? It goes back to a phrase that I am sad to say I have heard more than once, “if it’s not working you can always get a divorce”. If the thought crossed my mind at all then that must be what I want, right?
Thankfully my husband and I were able to work through that time and are still happily married but what if; what if I had fallen into societies trap? Have you found yourself in that situation where maybe you have thought the D word or even threatened with it, and now the situation has come to the point you are heading down a road you never really wanted in the first place.
If you are not sure you want a divorce I would encourage you to seek out wise counsel before making a decision that you can’t undo. If you haven’t already done so I would seek out a local family therapist or church counselor. Divorce is a huge financial decision, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, can help to give you a better understanding of what it may look like to split assets. And of course, a local family law attorney can help you to understand the legal issues you may face throughout a divorce. Marriage is not always easy, but it is worth fighting for.